Celebrating Mom

Mothers. We all have them and each is different. What do you think of when you think of your mother? What comes to mind is a kaleidoscope of images. Its simple and extremely complex.

When I think of my mom the first word is beautiful. She was 5'11 with green eyes and deep auburn hair. Fab LONG legs (yeah, I didn't get those) and model thin (she was modeling when my dad met her). At her heaviest in later years she was never more than 110 lbs. She never dieted but had a great metabolism. Many times she was on a diet to gain weight. (I didn't get that metabolism either).

She was more than beautiful. She was an intellectual but not stuffy. She was well read and well traveled. She loved New Orleans. And San Francisco. She was spontaneous. After school she'd say get ready we're going to dinner and we'd drive to the wharf for clam chowder. After dinner with the heavy scent of salt air and brightly lit outdoor lights we'd look at painted turtles for sale. Or we'd go to China town. She was always game for adventure.

My parents divorced when I was two years old and remained very good friends throughout their lives. Never did either ever say anything but complimentary things about the other parent. Which is amazing and set a great example.

Manners were important and enforced. My mom would walk behind me and say sit up straight! This would be at the dinner table. I think this began when I was a toddler. Guests were over and I remember I was wearing a dress with crinolines. The reason I know this is because this is the first spanking I remember receiving. She's told me that she asked me to sit up and the next thing she knew I was standing on my head in the chair with the multi layers of crinolines burying me. All you could see was my legs in their patent leather Mary Jane shoes sticking up. I do remember that. I was a bit rebellious which may explain why I'm an only child. Just sayin'.

She taught me so many important things which almost seem irrelevant in today's topsy-turvy world of anything goes. Manners. I did learn after my first splash of disobedience. It's important to be kind to others. No one is better than anyone else. I've seen her take off a beautiful coat and actually give it to a woman who needed it more than she did.

Mom's signature scent was Chanel #5 and how it would waft about her as she walked. She was artistic. Watercolors were her medium.

She loved pansies because they were happy flowers and always looked like they were smiling. But orchids were her thing as well as violets. Flowers and candles were important to her. Riguad candles. Her home always was filled with the most wonderful scent (I did get that).

She was a phenomenal gourmet chef. She could whip up veal scalapini (the best I've ever had and really miss) or a tuna casserole at a drop of a hat. A gifted baker; divinity fudge, a 7-layer chocolate sour cream cake. I no longer have the patience but really the time (is more accurate) to do baking.

She had an innate sense of style and taste (which I did get). Quality over quantity and one should always have a basic black dress in your closet.

She could do a complex math problem or equation in her head and always be right (yeah, that passed by me as well).

She was whimsical, extremely funny and quick witted (I got that). She did not suffer fools and would make it known they were wasting her time (Amanda got that).

Sunday mornings were devoted to Cross-word puzzles, newspaper reading over coffee. She loved opera and attending the opera. Her favorite was Madame Butterfly.

She was elegant (I have moments). We would read books at bedtime on weekends. The Eloise series. The Elsie Dinsmore series and, of course, my Nancy Drew series. There were also Donna Parker and Trixie Belden but they never measured up to Nancy. Louisa May Alcott Little Women series. Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle series. She would sing Puff the Magic Dragon to me. I still love Puff...

Some of the most import lessons I've carried with me. Mom was fiercely independent. She was in a partnership with someone who was 30 years older with her and it lasted until his death. She ingrained into me to never be dependent upon a man (for anything).  Which is a great lesson because you can be with them and enjoy them but not expect them to be your everything, you have to be that first. She always maintained her own home although she and her partner would spend time through the week or weekends together either at her place or his. She was never one to be owned and she would be happily at home by herself reading, gardening, playing Bridge or Canasta, dining in restaurants by herself or traveling by herself. Women didn't do those things back in the day but she did.

She loved music and was an amazing dancer. I've seen dancers clear the floor to watch her dance (Emma gets that from her). She loved the theater, movies and was always great fun to go anywhere with. She loved to shop (I used to). She loved the beach no matter where it was... Hawaii, Puerto Vallerta, Santa Cruz.

She passed 17 years ago. I think of her often and have so many wonderful memories that I don't really think of her as gone. I wouldn't be who I am without her and I wouldn't have ever desired another woman to be my mother. When I was a little girl I always thought of her as magical as she had this charisma about her that was enchanting. She would sweep into a room and you knew something fun was about to happen. (I do get that from her).